Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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