I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
