Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
there was a trapeze. enough said
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The adults are the big ones right?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
