apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
bring money and cleavage
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
