this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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