...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
