do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
