The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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