he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am puke
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
