i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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