remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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