it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.