Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada

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(510): View more from California

And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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(309): View more from Illinois

My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
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(727): View more from Florida

You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass

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(863): View more from Florida

YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON

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(409): View more from Texas

We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.

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