Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.