Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(315): Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/l6zl

Replies (9) Good night (3303) Bad night (608)
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(757): View more from Virginia

6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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(757): 6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter. http://tfl.nu/kp9e

Replies (42) Good night (5489) Bad night (952)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..

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(610): question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused.. http://tfl.nu/1zv2

Replies (42) Good night (826) Bad night (4575)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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(503): I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon. http://tfl.nu/wp82

Replies (49) Good night (5804) Bad night (813)
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(618): View more from Illinois

he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

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(618): he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever. http://tfl.nu/csmh

Replies (14) Good night (4889) Bad night (731)
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(509): View more from Washington

im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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(509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating. http://tfl.nu/g1sz

Replies (16) Good night (3974) Bad night (1005)
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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n

Replies (47) Good night (7004) Bad night (1069)
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(719): View more from Colorado

There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.

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(719): There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night. http://tfl.nu/1i28

Replies (14) Good night (5277) Bad night (1422)
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(352): View more from Florida

She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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(352): She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game. http://tfl.nu/e2np

Replies (7) Good night (3184) Bad night (673)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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(740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw

Replies (21) Good night (4504) Bad night (830)
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(917): View more from New York City

My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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(917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v

Replies (16) Good night (4600) Bad night (1044)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention

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(978): fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention http://tfl.nu/iald

Replies (7) Good night (928) Bad night (3762)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.

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(608): He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/dgwh

Replies (6) Good night (2004) Bad night (542)
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(716): View more from New York

i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.

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(716): i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs. http://tfl.nu/9d6u

Replies (10) Good night (1588) Bad night (789)
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(330): View more from Ohio

And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown

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(330): And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown http://tfl.nu/9oqz

Replies (0) Good night (543) Bad night (396)

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