I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?