Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

  (817): View more from Texas

  dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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  (214): does wine, beer, and vodka mix well?? (817): dude, everything can mix, this is college. http://tfl.nu/mqi0
  Replies (24) Good night (6201) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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  (314): I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmod
  Replies (23) Good night (4949) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me

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  (651): I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me http://tfl.nu/s22y
  Replies (13) Good night (4515) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.

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  (716): I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk. http://tfl.nu/wlu8
  Replies (103) Good night (3210) Bad night (12416)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (1046) Bad night (5649)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence

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  (570): Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence http://tfl.nu/3zfv
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1964) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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  (802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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  (303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6
  Replies (3) Good night (527) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter

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  (432): Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter http://tfl.nu/o41k
  Replies (10) Good night (2197) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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  (215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5
  Replies (4) Good night (366) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.

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  (425): There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it. http://tfl.nu/wv9t
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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  (480): strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor http://tfl.nu/6d1i
  Replies (4) Good night (318) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter

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  (518): I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter http://tfl.nu/jzj8
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.

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  (606): My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite. http://tfl.nu/zym2
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (163)

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