i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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