I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
