A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
