I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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