New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
