Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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