i may or may not be watching the land before time
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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