did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone came in the potted fern
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
