I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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