I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
