my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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