Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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