his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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