i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
