fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
