just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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