Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
please come you make the beer taste better
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
