If i come over, it means nothing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
