Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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