Farmville is her only friend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Success! We fucked roommates!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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