If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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