tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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