hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Alive.
So much puke
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
