I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
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I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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