Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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