Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
