I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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