Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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