anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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