So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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