Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
