I'm jealous of your bromance
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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