This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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