I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
