if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
