How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
