Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
