quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize