is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
