I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
