Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
