i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize