I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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