Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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