well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
