she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
