I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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